Join the Conversation – Free Speech for all, not just the Few

When I was 12, my older sister and I were constantly quarreling. She was five-and-a-half years older than me and was already earning money working at a local newspaper. That year, she won the Dairy Princess contest so I was jealous of her popular status and her closet full of clothes.

Once designated as my sister’s “tag-along,” she had now surpassed me leaving me in the dust. Now she was never around when I needed her.

After she left in the mornings, I’d search through her closet and find something to wear to school. Since I returned in the afternoons before she did, I could put the clothes back. I got away with this for weeks. Bless my mum’s heart, she never squealed on me knowing I’d get caught sooner or later.

The discovery came a few weeks later after I’d soiled one of my sister’s sweaters. First I stood accused, and then admitted my guilt. After that, we barely spoke to each other. She refused to listen to my reasons and excuses. I remained accused and unforgiven.

It wasn’t until after she married that we became close again. She had finally moved on and I had grown up. The teenage bickering and sibling rivalry was behind us. I discovered that conversation doesn’t work unless both parties contribute.

I told my husband about this on one of our daily walks. He likes to talk and threads his words together with ands and buts which makes it difficult to jump in. I reminded him that conversation is a two-way street. When he is the only talker my mind drifts because I feel I’m being lectured to. He’s a slow learner, but finally he’s getting the hang of it.

When the Broadway play “Hamilton” was attended by Vice Pres. Elect Pence and his daughter, they received a “piece of Aaron Burr’s mind.” He addressed Pence with the cast’s doubts that he or Pres. Elect Trump could serve all the people. The diatribe lasted several minutes followed by clapping and cheers from the New York Liberal audience. Burr said he simply wanted their feelings to be “part of the conversation,” yet Pence had no chance to respond.

That, my friends, is the Progressive definition of free speech: a one-sided argument where only one party gets to have their voice heard.

A college student clarified this for me when she told a reporter, “I hate free speech. People shouldn’t be able to oppose or offend someone else.”

Of course she proceeded to tell the columnist that they were protesting a conservative that was coming on campus to speak to the students.” In other words, a conservative was not allowed free speech on their campus because they only wanted to hear one political point of view – theirs!

We usually choose friends that are similar to us and have many of the same opinions. If you were to shut your friend up when their ideas and preferences differed from yours, you would have no friends.

If Liberals truly wanted to be a part of the national conversation, they would be willing to listen to the other side; but they’re not. Instead, they are whining and throwing a tantrum because they’re side lost.

They are upset because their candidate won the popular vote, but you see that doesn’t matter. The Constitution created the Electoral College so that everyone, even the smallest communities could be heard and their votes counted. If the popular votes won, then the same state or states and party would win every year.

Some also want to amend the Constitution and change some of its rights and privileges so that it favors only a few. They want to take away the 2^nd amendment (right to bear arms) so the people would be defenseless if a tyrant or dictator took control and chose to take away the people’s rights and freedoms.

The Constitution is an inspired document that never gets old. Its wisdom preserves liberty and justice for all. Don’t think for a moment that the people of this great land want to change the very thing which has protected them for hundreds of years.

As you partake of your Thanksgiving meal, offer up a prayer of thanks that you are still able to call upon your God and feel safe in your community. If Liberals had their way, we’d be inundated by the people who are flooding our land with illegal aliens and radical minorities intent on taking away what we have and replacing it with their own idioms and values.

When Liberals stop killing cops, stop detesting the Military and label rioting and destruction as a protest perhaps I’ll believe that they really want a national conversation. But if they refuse to listen or to allow another point of view to be heard, I’ll still insist that Liberals are sore losers.

The Handshake – when it’s Appropriate, and when it’s not!

“Does this hat make me look fat?”

One of my grandson’s has moderate Asperger’s Syndrome. Asperger’s syndrome was named for the Austrian doctor, Hans Asperger, who first described the disorder in 1944. However, Asperger’s was not recognized as a unique disorder until much later.

This condition is believed to be hereditary in families and has to do with the development of social skills. It is believed to be related to Autism, but not directly. I’m amazed at how well my grandson has been able to function while suffering from this neurological and behavioral condition.

“Ibis on a Perch” Sometimes we must go out on a limb to meet people!

Most of us would probably consider ourselves inept in certain social situations especially as we go through the stages of growth and development. Social skills don’t come naturally to many people. The lucky few learn these skills from their parents and teachers, but most will learn from experience and from their own personal failures.

Entering someone’s “space” or touching them before you know them well is often considered inappropriate or “too much too soon.” For “touchy feely” people like me restraint is difficult. I must pull in the reins even though it feels perfectly natural for me to reach out a hand or put an arm around someone when there is shared laughter or humor.

In certain circumstances, even a handshake seems too forward. For instance, you wouldn’t go around shaking people’s hands in a crowded airport. It may be absolutely normal to engage someone in conversation if you need directions or help, but going beyond that may raise a few eyebrows. Appearing too snoopy or friendly may cast suspicions on your motives and your character.

“Ibis Only Peeking”
Are you being overly intimate?

As a writer, it is necessary for me to interview different kinds of people in varying professions. I’m expert at prying into other people’s business. In a personal setting, I have to back off or risk being too aggressive and hurting someone’s feelings.  Playing the role of investigative reporter can really put people off unless they know that’s why you’re there in the first place.

Here’s a tip for my grandson and for all those who feel awkward in social settings and want to make brownie points,. “Get the other person to talk about themselves. If you do this, you may never have to speak again.” I say this in jest, but have you ever noticed how much people like to talk on and on about themselves?

‘Hut two three four” Take the first step: Ask a question?

To put yourself at ease, have a few interested but non-personal questions prepared beforehand. “Are you new to Florida?”  “Are you a friend of the hostess?” “Did your profession bring you here?” Once you get the other person talking, you may want to contribute some information about yourself. Once the give and take starts, you have a real conversation going.

In a more intimate setting where most people are known to you, the handshake can bring an added feeling of warmth and friendliness. Be aware of how the other person reacts. If they seem uncomfortable, perhaps a handshake is too much at this point in time or there may be an underlying problem.

I have arthritis in my hands. Some people clamp down so hard that they cause pain. I have learned to reach out with both hands to these people; one for shaking, the other to disarm them or add an extra bit of intimacy. They are so surprised by my two-hand shake that they release their grip on my painful hand and I’m saved.

Handshakes are especially appropriate when introductions are made. A firm handshake tells you a lot about the person’s confidence and warmth. A limp handshake signifies that person is holding back and isn’t sure about this new relationship or they may be shy and unsure of themselves.

Don’t get left in the dust. Ask a question? When introduced, offer a firm handshake.

Friendly handshakes are good for greeting or welcoming other people to a group setting or fellowship. Like interests have brought them here in the first place and so attendees already share something in common.  This is true of a church or worship setting or a place where people come back more than once to share their views, interests or problems.

Social skills can be learned and acquired. It just takes practice and experience. There is a learning curve that happens until you pick up a few secrets to enhance the interchange of ideas and information. Once you conquer your fears, it gets easier each time you put yourself out there.

Friends at last — flying together into the sunset!

If people with a disability like my grandson can do it, you can do it too!

If you’re interested in learning more about Asperger’s go to WebMd.com  @ http://www.webmd.com/mental-health-aspergers-syndrome