When it comes to Advice or Help, Who do you Trust?

“Blending In” 11 x 14 acrylic on canvas (A red wing blackbird flutters its wings and replicates the sunflower petals.

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Young children come into this life trusting others, mainly because they’re so dependent. They soon learn who comes when they cry, who feeds them and makes them comfortable. If this care is consistent, they not only trust the giver, but come to depend on their care. As trust develops, bonding strengthens between mother and child, and father and child.

When I was dating late in life, I was criticized for being overly suspicious and hesitant about many things. “Why don’t you trust me?” one person said. My answer was simple: “Trust must be earned. It is not given away.”

I still believe that to this day. You can get completely over your head or in a whole lot of trouble if you simply trust everyone who comes into your life. Young children and teens are vulnerable to compliments, gifts, suggestions because they are so open and trusting. As you grow into adulthood, you learn, oftentimes from hurts and mistakes, that not everyone is trustworthy.

I was offered a lift to church one evening by a neighbor’s son when I was in my teens. I’d seen him in their driveway over several weeks and months. When he asked if I’d like a lift, I hesitated, but only for a moment. Before I could change my mind, I was bouncing along in his truck ignorant and happy until he passed our turnoff. When I complained, he said he had an errand to run, and it wouldn’t take long.

I protested with urgency, explaining that I’d be late, but he ignored my pleas. When we got to the end of town, he pulled into a darkened lumber yard. We were the only vehicle in the lot. As he jumped out of the truck, I told him to hurry, that it was important that I get to church.

He walked some distance away into the darkness. A light never came on anywhere, and I began to fear he was misleading me. I prayed for all I was worth. “Please Heavenly Father, help me be safe. I just want to get to church.”

“Sunshine” oil on 11 x 14 canvas

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About 10 minutes later, he walked back, jumped into the truck and wheeled away. Without another word, he drove me back to church and dropped me off. What went through his mind that night and what his real intents and purposes were I’ll never know. I only felt grateful that through my prayers and persistence, I was kept safe.

I’m always reminded of Ted Bundy’s handsome face. He fooled many young women because of his charm and good looks. But he was anything but nice! Trust must be earned. If you want to keep your own daughters safe, teach them this principle. Trust is dependability and consistency. It is not a promise made by a stranger or a bad friend. Trust is built by knowing someone and what they do.

Sometimes your gut will unmask a villain, but only if you trust your first impressions and instincts. Sometimes you scold yourself for feeling bad about someone because of their looks or their color. Instead, you should trust how you feel in their presence. Or, if you’re like me, you’ll trust in the Lord to help you make the right decision.

Integrity and Respect are Two Sides of the Same Coin

“Twitters and Twigs” 11×14 oil on canvas

On NBC Nightly News they reported on a Neurologist who was treating five different women for Multiple Sclerosis (MS). Each had had expensive tests, including an MRI and had been prescribed meds that were costing upwards of several hundred to thousands of dollars per month. In their efforts to get financial relief, the women obtained second opinions that revealed they did not have MS.

The reporter said “The doctor was nothing more than a ‘con’ man. “He got away with it because he was a well-known and respected doctor. He was charming. He had charisma and a friendly persona.”

The downfall of a once successful man can usually be blamed not only on dishonesty, but lack of integrity. The doctor knew what he was doing was wrong, but he thought he could get away with it. He didn’t really care that his actions were criminal or that it would cause others pain. He only thought of himself and the money that would end up in his own pocket. Now he has been revealed for what he really is on the inside: a thief, a liar, and a selfish greedy scum bag. The man is an “empty suit.”

Turkey Buzzards circling for a feast

They are around us everywhere, even on the elevated floors of congress and in the highest halls of academia. The rules that others play by, they simply ignore: “Put your money where your mouth is; you talk a good game, can you play a good game?” Actions always speak louder than words.

If you “live by the sword,” you will usually die by the sword. “What goes around comes around.” If your poison tongue spews venom outward to deceive others, eventually your words and acts will come back to haunt you or destroy you. In the past, people shook hands in agreement; their word was as good as a signed contract. When did words come to mean so little?

Speaking of words, do people trust that you will do what you say?” Are you reliable? When your name comes up in private conversations will the discussion be positive? Is your character praiseworthy?

Reputations are built one step at a time through the accumulation of successful interactions with others. Integrity strengthens those negotiations. Integrity once earned, cannot be taken from you. It is a priceless quality that is valued and appreciated by many, but cannot be purchased, stolen or copied.

“Fish Market” 24×18 acrylic on canvas

Integrity is that part of your being that is deeply enmeshed with fiber, tissue, heart and soul. It is intrinsic to a person’s character and reputation. You can only increase its value through practice and consistent behavior that builds trust.

Without integrity there is no respect in the true sense. This kind of standing enhances love and diminishes fear. Integrity is eternal. It will cover your nakedness when you pass from mortal to eternal life and become your crown of righteousness when you stand before Almighty God.