Control – Oh, the Power it Wields!

Two paintings from my “With These Hands” series: “Hope” on the left, and “Wonder” on the right. Oil on acrylic underpainting (mixed media)

Human nature is embarrassingly obvious. Whoever possesses the power is in control. Politicians seize it in the guise of helping the electorate; but instead, they vote themselves better health care, bigger raises, and huge pensions for retirement income.

They change the laws to suit their contributors. They vote out term limits so they can keep getting re-elected using the same lies they did when they first got elected. If the people in the states they represent feel like they’re getting the benefits, they grant them power for another term.

Today the establishment elite are afraid of losing that power. In their efforts to gain control, they are using lies and corruption to create a climate for take-over. Will the people allow it? In this “government of the people” are the elites once again trying to deceive in order to regain what for them is almost lost?

The whole affair makes me sick to my stomach. Because I support Trump, I’m tired of being told I’m not smart, I’m stupid, I’m a “far right loon” or worse. And this does not come from the democrats, but from the party I have supported not only with my votes, but with my money.

Many are backing off because they shun the labels the media and the establishment sling at them. So rather than be called an ignoramus for following Trump “the clown,” they fall in line behind the establishment candidates. Cowards! If we cease to stand for what we believe and blindly follow behind the demagogues who are beholden to their lobbyists and donors and not to “we the people,” America is lost.

If Donald Trump wins the delegate votes, isn’t it unconstitutional to try to take them away from him after the people have spoken? Romney thinks he has the power to take them away. If he is the shadow candidate, he not only won’t win, Hillary will get the nomination.

The “Rhinos” don’t care who wins as long as they can keep feeding at the trough courtesy of John Q. Public. But surprise! The more they sling mud at the Trump campaign, the more followers he obtains and this has the establishment in an angry frenzy of desperation. Poor little Marco thinks he has a shot at being President, but he’s only a pawn in the game to push Romney to the head of the pack.

The same power struggle happens in marriage. The one who has financial control, usually holds the winning hand. Sometimes money is withheld in order to manipulate or hurt. At other times the power may be used in the bedroom to withhold sex or affection. Power is often used to intimidate, embarrass, or belittle. Weak people are more likely to use this power to hurt others. The perpetrators may be male or female.

The third in the “With These Hands” series: “Love” all available at http://carol-allen-anfinsen.pixels.com

Greed and selfishness are at the center of all power disputes. Facts are distorted. Reputations are sullied. Self-respect and self-esteem are both destroyed. There are no winners. But in this election year, it is not a game. It’s a matter of life and death. Our country is so saddled by debt it is already on the verge of collapse. Our Constitution is in shreds. Our precious rights and liberties are being eroded to the point of no return and both parties are guilty of their destruction.

You can’t afford to be ignorant when you vote. Study the issues. Read both sides of an argument and determine the facts. If you don’t really care then please don’t vote. The right to vote was earned by someone else’s blood and tears. Some even lost their lives in preserving freedom. At this critical juncture in American history you can’t afford to sit this one out. Remember the saying: “absolute power corrupts absolutely.” We must keep the power with the people.

“First Daffodil” the hope of Spring.

End the Power Struggle — Save your Fragile Marriage by Partnering

Bride and Groom

I heard someone say on the news yesterday regarding the chaos in the Middle East: “It’s a constant battle – an unwinnable war.”

I chuckled to myself; that sounds like “the battle of the sexes.” Most of us go into marriage having only a vague notion of what our partner is really like or any idea about marriage. How do you live day in and day out with one person for the rest of your life? Of course, that’s the ideal. In the real world there are disputes, separations, divorces, and sometimes reconciliations.

Many marriages fail because of the constant struggle for control. Businesses fail for the same reasons. People forget that a business or marriage is a partnership between two people who should have the same goals and the same values. Many people jump in with both feet knowing none of these things about the other.

Exhausted after the big day!

Biblically speaking, Eve was created as a “help meet” for Adam to stand beside him and to help him weather the storms of life. Today we call it teamwork. Their relationship was not meant to be dictatorial or competitive. They were to be “as one,” sharing the same dreams and working together to make them come true.

Too often in marriage there is a tug-o-war. One partner sees the other as adversarial; on someone else’s team, their own team because of stubbornness, or anything but on their side. The divide widens with constant bickering and fighting as each tries to get their way. Instead of partners working on the success of their marriage or family, they become competitors in a war of wills.

“The family that plays together (and prays) stays together.

In a power struggle for dominance, the stronger person may use strength, anger, withholding of money, love or moral support while the weaker more congenial partner tries to keep the peace. The silent one acquiesces rather than voicing an opinion. They remain quiet until there is a “last straw moment” when long held passion is released in a fury.

In a marriage, emotion clouds dialogue and decision making. In business we strive for objectivity. If marriage were viewed more as a business partnership, cooler heads would prevail. When we invest our love, our emotions into the partnership we may get hurt. If we give too much, we may lose control. Fear, fear, fear mixed with doubts, insecurities and what ifs?

Lack of maturity hurts many marriages. One person may grow and let go of childish behavior while the other may continue in a juvenile stage for many years to come. One partner may squirrel away money for a rainy day and the other may spend as soon as the dough comes in the door.

Setting up Housekeeping

If it’s not too late for you and your partner, discuss what a partnership should be and what you would like from it. Measure your current relationship against that model. What can you both give and take to make that a reality.

It is through giving that we learn how to love. Competition over “who’s the boss” only drives two people further apart. Make a commitment to partner with each other. Raise the bar. Instead of “a constant battle, an unwinnable war,” make your marriage an ongoing struggle an attainable goal.

The nest is ready; waiting for the stork.